i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
