drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize