What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
