um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
