Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
