I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
