Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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