Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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