standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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