ugly people sure do ruin things
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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