Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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