Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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