Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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