You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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