every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
