the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
