i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
