I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
