Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
