just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
now i know why i became what i already was.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
