okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
