We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
