I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
