4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need to align my fucking chakras
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
