My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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