Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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