when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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