okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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