I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize