I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
