Don't make out with my wife yet
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize