just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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