like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
