Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
