Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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