You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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