My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
