is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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