What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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