she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
