The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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