Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
