So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize