I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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