You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
