The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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