I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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