We won't sleep together?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
