I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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