she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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