Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Even my vagina gasped.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize