It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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