Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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