No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
