Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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