I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
