69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
