yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
