You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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