Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
