My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
